THE MYTH OF THE INDIAN WOMAN
You can leave the land of Seven Islands, Mumbai city, master the English language, and travel as far as you can, but if you are a little Indian girl, especially one like me who so obviously belongs to the Shahrukh Khan's gene pool, the city travels with you.
I can still recall an encounter with an Uber driver which reinstated this belief. A few months ago I was traveling alongside Teo, my uber driver, who picked me up early on a Monday morning. The conversation began with a greeting and progressed into small talk. After exchanging a few words, the gentleman finally addressed the elephant in the room, or more accurately, the car. "Where are you from?" asked Teo. Although the brown complexion of my skin along with the heavy accent in my voice almost screams my nationality, I politely responded, "India". Teo's eyes lit up with amusement and I tried to anticipate what he was going to say next, however, his words caught me off guard.
"Your English is very good for someone from India",he said. Even though he was complimenting me I felt embarrassed because it is a common misconception that Indians cannot speak English in spite of it being the second most spoken language in the country. He then continued to justify his statement by saying he has come across a few Indians in his profession who he seldom understands. Though I let out a nervous chuckle, I explained to him that English is one of the official languages in India and approximately of 125million Indians are English speakers. Fortunately, when we arrived at my destination as his face turned red a lot like the famous Indian dish, Tandoori chicken. India is famous for several things, the food, it’s temples, but most importantly, Bollywood. The spring of 2018 was my first trip to the emergency room in the States. Unfortunate as that was, I realized that in a game of hide and seek with my Indian roots, my roots will always win.
After her daily rounds, my doctor came to my room to take my vitals. She asked me how my pain was and I weakly replied I was better, however she was not convinced and sat down to engage me in conversation. “So, do you watch a lot of Bollywood films?” she asked with a twinkle in her eyes. Although I was upset, I could feel my lips curl up into a smile and acknowledged her question with a nod. She told me how she enjoys watching Bollywood movies and has Friday nights reserved for family movie night when they would watch the most dramatic movies. Even though she mispronounced the names of the Bollywood stars in her American accent, I knew exactly who she was talking about. She then excitedly asked me if I could give her a list of Bollywood movies she could watch and left with a huge childish grin. I laughed because even though I am closer to Hollywood, I get recognized because of Bollywood and its portrayal of the “typical Indian woman”; a label I always dreaded.
You see, the typical Indian woman is the one who is softspoken, shy and behaves exactly how her orthodox ancestors expect her to behaveto avoid being the topic of gossip during the aunties’ get togethers or more famously known as Kitty parties. I have always been bogged down by this image.Being a rebel child I never had it the easy way. I always stood out like a sore thumb because I am outspoken, blunt and carry myself as per my rules. The same cannot be said about me in the US. No, it’s not my personality that has changed but my environment is completely different, accepting and more understanding.
That’s when I go back to Coffer’s idea of “cultural schizophrenia” where I realize that Indian women are taught and expected to live their lives by the rules made by others and inevitably live for others; whereas women in the states are encouraged to be independent and strong, lone survivors even. They are given the opportunity to live by and for themselves which often lacks in the Indian culture. Most Indian women are expected to have be daughters or wives first and an individual second and the reverse is
expected here. It was my rebellious nature against these orthodox ideals that allows me to mingle well with the crowd, here in the states, beside the obvious racial skin complexion and very thick accent in my voice.
Even though the most popular language in India is Hindi, I have been fluent in the English language. A few nights ago I was at a grocery store. It was late and almost closing time. I was buying eggs when a tall, well-built man walked up to me and softly whispered something. I was startled and turned around with a blank face. I said sorry, what, hoping for him to repeat himself. He looked at me with an equally blank face and proceeded to say “oh! You don’t speak English, my bad” and walked off. It all happened so fast that I had absolutely no time to collect my thoughts and correct him. By the time I composed myself and tried to speak out, he was gone. Just because I don’t look American he was so quick to assume I don’t speak the language of the country. I stood there for a minute, to process what had just happened before I walked upto the cashier and left.
It has been quite an experience with the stereotypes and the obvious discrimination but that has not stopped me from being the occasional smart-ass with the witty humor. I can never shy away from Bollywood or hide behind my accent. Instead, I’m learning to live with it and grow.
Tania Kadri